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“A journalist explores the motivations and emotional constructs of political wives who chose to stay in their marriages—in some cases, only for a while—after being confronted with their husbands’ infidelities .... Skillful prose makes the dishy profiles an engaging read .... A lively political book ...." — Kirkus Reviews
Why They Stay is about the lives of politically married women who have stood by their men after sex scandals. It covers Eleanor Roosevelt, Jackie Kennedy, Hillary Clinton, Silda Wall Spitzer, Huma Abedin Weiner and more.
Looking back on the path chosen by the women profiled in this book, we have the evidence to see a pattern as old as the dynastic maneuverings of England’s medieval queens. The women married to the "royalty" of our times—politicians—make cold calculations in order to hold onto their "thrones" and their families’ history-making potential. Why They Stay argues that women in the limelight remain loyal to their men, because of complex, often unconscious forces. From mapping a path to power to laudable notions of holding the family together, the author examines the uniquely challenging Faustian bargains that political wives grapple with, even as the public spotlight illuminates their every move.
Winner of multiple national book honors, including in the categories of Women’s Issues and Current Events. Audio and e-book versions are available.
Clarion Rating: 4 out of 5
Why They Stay includes entertaining fodder for better understanding what bargains highly successful women make in order to endure in scandal-plagued marriages.
Knowing that is hard to understand why so many strong, smart, accomplished women stick with their political husbands through humiliating sex scandals, Anne Michaud’s revised edition of the social science book Why They Stay adds analysis of Melania and Donald Trump’s marriage and updates on seven other crisis-ridden American and British power couples.
The book probes the backgrounds and motivations of its high-profile example couples, and theorizes about why their marital arrangements endure. It compares its eight focal women to a fifteenth-century commoner, Elizabeth Woodville, who became a powerful queen and royal matriarch after the dust cleared from England’s bloody War of the Roses. Known as the White Queen, Woodville embodied many characteristics that Michaud sees reflected in her case studies six centuries later. The book assigns each of its eight subjects a White Queen Quotient in its chapter summaries.
The book states that there are different social norms for the ambitious White Queens, some of whom wanted to claw up to the top, others of whom wanted to remain in the upper echelons of political and economic statuses. Each couple’s motivations and psychological makeup are discussed in detail—and with dishy anecdotes and quotes. The profiles include backgrounds of each husband and wife, from their childhoods through to the present, alongside theories about their psychological motivations. The book also covers the political and financial rewards that the most loyal White Queens receive, from federal judgeships to renegotiated pre-nuptial agreements to sweetheart corporate and real estate deals.
Michaud’s observations of the women’s behavior are opinionated and trenchant. She reads between the lines of their statements in media, teasing out new considerations of their behavior. Familiar examples, including Hillary Clinton, Jacqueline Kennedy, and Eleanor Roosevelt, are handled alongside less familiar figures, including Wendy Vitter, the wife of a former Louisiana House member and senator who enjoyed being diapered and treated like an infant by sex workers; and Marion Stein, the wife of Britain’s 1970s Liberal Party leader Jeremy Thorpe, whose gay (and then illegal) extramarital relationship was uncovered during a bizarre incident involving a hitman and a murdered dog.
The book’s conclusions are enlightening and fascinating for political junkies, but also dispiriting and disillusioning for feminists. White Queens are shown to be rewarded tangibly with powerful positions, social perks, and financial gains; there can be smarmy, ugly Faustian bargains too, with heavy emotional fallout and other costs to themselves and their children. Only one of the examples ever divorces her philandering husband, further underscoring how different patriarchal rules apply to men and women. If the gender roles were reversed: it’s hard to even imagine an aggrieved husband “acting as a prop” at the obligatory post-scandal apology press conference.
Why They Stay is a thoughtful, researched social science book. It includes entertaining fodder for better understanding what some highly successful women trade to endure in scandal-plagued marriages.
Reviewed by Rachel Jagareski
October 13, 2021
Anne Michaud’s Why They Stay is a solid, dishy book about seven American political wives and one Brit who stood by their husbands despite their scandalous behavior.
The narrative examines Jackie Kennedy, Eleanor Roosevelt, Hillary Clinton, Melania Trump, Wendy Vitter, Silda Wall Spitzer, Huma Abedin and Marion Stein, wife of Jeremy Thorpe (disgraced in a ‘70s-era gay sex and murder scandal).
Overall, it appeals to our voyeurism, but what elevates this above tabloid fare is Michaud’s creation of an archetypal, loyal political wife she dubs the “White Queen.” The White Queen stays because it serves her interests. Michaud evaluates each of her subjects for White Queen traits such as caretaker, desire to build a legacy, and patriotism.
It’s a clever tool easily applied to Hillary Clinton and Melania Trump. Hillary was a leader in her own right before she met Bill and has remained married, in part, due to their shared patriotic enthusiasm for public service. Melania was a disciplined model, but she latched onto Trump rather than other wealthy men because he offered a larger narrative of success, a legacy for herself and her children.
For her facts, Michaud cites newspaper and magazine articles, books, and trustworthy online sources, but few original interviews. Clearly this award-winning political journalist who wrote for the Wall Street Journal also has much experience to inform her analysis.
In all of these cases, Michaud argues the women knew about their husbands’ philandering and probably negotiated terms, such as their husband’s discretion. But these men’s discretion lapsed, often with little career consequences. Michaud concludes by acknowledging our patriarchal culture and its confounding messages, such as “men will be men.” Americans seem to think their leaders can be serial cheaters, but women with any sense should dump their cheating men. No wonder these graceful women, pilloried for difficult personal choices, are so fascinating.
While not exactly groundbreaking, Michaud’s analysis of them offers a satisfying diversion for anyone interested in the topic.
November, 2021
No one could have written this book better than Anne Michaud, a columnist who has covered politicians for decades. Her observations are sharp and compelling and her prose shines with her unique signature for phraseology, crispness, and excellent diction. Why They Stay: Sex Scandals, Deals, and Hidden Agendas of Nine Political Wives is a very informative, engaging, and entertaining work.
-- Christian Sia review for Readers' Favorite
Anyone interested in politics or the dynamics of couples in public positions would definitely find this book of interest. Why They Stay: Sex Scandals, Deals and Hidden Agendas of Nine Political Wives by Anne Michaud is a poignant look at modern political partnerships whose message not only speaks to the validity of marriage in leadership positions but also to the principles and morals of our leaders themselves.
-- Kimberly Luyckx review for Reader Views
It's about time that a book such as Why They Stay should appear to comment on the wives of politicians and why they remain in place despite reports of infidelity and bad behaviors. Not only does this apply to the highest political offices past and present, but its message and analysis will reach many a marriage where friends may wonder about the reasons why a wife stays in the home after misconduct is uncovered. This is not to say that the two environments (political and personal) are identical and hold the same commitments and conundrums -- far from it. As Why They Stay points out, political pressures and purposes are similar to traditional marriages in some aspects and far different in others. It's a gripping production especially recommended for any interested in women's issues and political scandals and their aftermath.
— Diane Donovan review for Midwest Book Review
Anne Michaud breathes life into headlines that I thought I knew so well with fresh details about well-known political spouses like Hillary Clinton, Silda Wall Spitzer and Huma Abedin. Her thorough reporting helps cast them into an entirely new light to show how their personal struggles reflect the internal struggles women have faced for centuries.
-- Christine Haughney, former New York Times staff reporter
Marriage is a mysterious thing and political unions are even more so. In the engrossing and important Why They Stay Anne Michaud peers into the heart of some of the most famously troubled political marriages of the past 100 years in an attempt to understand why accomplished women ranging from Hillary Clinton to Silda Spitzer put up with men many others would have quickly kicked to the curb. Her answers will no doubt influence how we think about these scandals going forward -- not to mention the ones still to come.
--Helaine Olen, author of Pound Foolish
It’s a story we’ve heard often: Prominent politicians suddenly find themselves ensnared in humiliatingly public sex scandals, but their wives decide to stay with them. With a prodigious amount of research and deft storytelling skill, Anne Michaud goes beyond the headlines and explores the stories of both spouses, on both sides of the Atlantic, revealing the pain, the loyalty, and the calculations behind the wives’ decisions. Every political couple should read it.
-- Bob Keeler, author and Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist
"American Czarina" (Ogunquit Press, April 2021) tells the life stories of Melania Knauss Trump, First Lady of the United States, and her husband, President Donald J. Trump, the similarities and differences in their early lives and how they were raised, where they grew up and their shared values. These pages examine how Melania met Donald and why they've stayed together despite obstacles that have broken apart the marriages of other power couples. This book follows on the earlier, "Why They Stay."
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Why They Stay is definitely not a flippant read, but a memorable one, and one from which few of the characters at the heart of the stories come out particularly well. Readers will find scandal, shock and a deep sense of discomfort at times, and many will not like the pretext, but the question is a valid one. Why did they stay? The reasons vary, naturally, but this tells the real-life tales, and gives a sense of how each scenario came to be.
-- James Hendicott review for IndieReader