May 1st, 2012
Essay first published in Newsday.
It looks like Supermom is here to stay. Women ages 18 to 34, in a new survey, rated “high-paying career” high on their list of life priorities. For the first time, women in this age group outnumbered men in considering it important – 66 percent of women, compared with 59 percent of men. The last time this question was asked of this age group, in 1997, the sexes ranked “career” roughly equal in importance (56 percent of women and 58 percent of men).
At the same time, being a good parent and having a successful marriage continued to rank significantly high on everyone’s list. “They haven’t given any ground on marriage and parenthood,” said researcher Kim Parker of the Pew Research Center, which conducted the study. “In fact, there is even more emphasis [on home life] than 10 to 15 years ago.”
The story line over the past couple of decades has been that, for the most part, women would prefer to stay home with children. Those who could afford it were “opting out” of the workplace for home. The recent stir over Ann Romney’s stay-at-home motherhood reawakened culturally conservative voices claiming that her choice is superior for women, and certainly better for kids. More »
April 11th, 2012
Essay first published in Newsday.
Mike Wallace, the groundbreaking TV newsman who died Saturday at 93, worked hard at earning his tough-guy image. During some of the most volatile events of our times, he asked pointed questions of powerful people: members of the Nixon administration, cigarette manufacturers, the Ayatollah Khomeini, Louis Farrakhan, champions of the Vietnam War.
He tossed aside his nervy image, though, to highlight a problem that many men have difficulty admitting: depression. This revelation by a highly visible tough guy has encouraged untold numbers to seek help.
Wallace spoke publicly about his depression for the first time during a “60 Minutes” retrospective of his career in 2006. He told the camera that he had tried to commit suicide.
Before Wallace went public, his doctor advised him against owning up to the illness. “‘That’s bad for your image,’” Wallace quoted his doctor as saying, in an interview with the Saturday Evening Post. “But finally, I had to face up to it.”
Although it’s more common for women to suffer from depression, men with this affliction more often end their lives, according to research published in the journal “Suicide” in 2008. Because families and the press are reluctant to make suicides public, it’s not widely known that suicides are far more common in the United States than homicides – an estimated 30,000 to 35,000 each year. More »
April 3rd, 2012
Essay first published in Newsday.
The world knew Adrienne Rich, who died last week at 82, as a poet – influential, political, feminist, lesbian, anti-war, Jewish.
But her profound impact on my life came in the form of prose: a 1976 book called “Of Woman Born: Motherhood as Experience and Institution.” Rich, who was a wife until her 40s and the mother of three boys, trained her rebel’s eye on the mixed feelings that come with caring for babies and young children.
To be sure, Rich had her predecessors on this ground: Betty Friedan, even the humorist Erma Bombeck. And Rich inspired thousands who came after, from Susan Maushart, who wrote “The Mask of Motherhood,” to the many parent-lit moms and dads writing and blogging today.
It’s not that parenthood is awful, of course. It’s that mothers were to an excessive degree expected to be “beneficent, sacred, pure, asexual and nourishing,” as Rich described it, or they would risk disapproval. Rich was instrumental in shattering these public myths that made women feel privately inadequate and unnatural if they discovered any forbidden feelings in the nursery. More »
March 14th, 2012
Essay first published in Newsday.
‘Kids killing kids.” That’s how the trilogy “The Hunger Games” is summed up by critics of the forthcoming film, premiering March 23. And it’s not an untrue or inaccurate description. That arrow absolutely hits its mark.
As much as I’m a values-enforcing mother of two teenage girls, I have to admit, I love “The Hunger Games.” I’ve read 21/2 of the three books, partly in an effort to have conversations with my 14-year-old. But it may be easier to accept the violent story line on the page than it will be to see it come to life on the big screen.
In an age when Columbine is still much more than a Colorado high school and, just three weeks ago, a student emptied his handgun in a school in Ohio, killing three students, should we ever be sanguine about kids killing kids? The idea makes you want to pop in an escapist Disney DVD – you know, the one with the happy ending. Oh, right, that’s every Disney film. More »
